‘Look at your profile picture, then look at my profile picture again and then decide if you really think it was a good idea to send me a message’
In the recent video Gay & Fat by Davey Wavey, the YouTube star interviews magazine editor Martijn who tells us what it is like to be overweight and body shamed in the gay community.
Martijn says: ‘One guy sent a message to me saying: “Look at your profile picture, then look at my profile picture again and then decide if you really think it was a good idea to send me a message.”‘
‘I just remember being on the gay dating websites and having lots of guys really confirm the idea that I already had; that I was undesirable.’
He goes on by saying that some people would just send him messages telling him how ‘ugly’ he is.
When Martijn was younger he would often fantasize about being successful and in those fantasies he would always be thin. ‘I could not equate being overweight with being happy. Those two things just never went together in my head.’
When Martijn was older he started looking at websites for bears or guys that are into bears.
‘Gradually I started dating guys that I think probably would call themselves ‘chasers’ and who really, finally gave me the feeling that I was desirable, that I wasn’t insignificant, and that I had something to offer.’
‘Maybe two or three years ago was the first time when I looked in the mirror and actually thought: “You actually look kind of hot today.”‘
Martijn says that he still gets some of that insecurity when visiting a gay bar where most of the guys are ‘muscled, defined or slim’ but that he is no longer ashamed of the way he looks.
You can watch the video below