Bears offer many gifts to gay men
When I was a younger gay man, I really wish that I had dated a bear. Sadly, that never happened. That’s because I was too focused on connecting with “my type” and making sure he checked off all my boxes.
Had I been more eclectic, I would have learned important life lessons that might have been helpful in my personal development. Specifically, I’m talking about confidence, attractiveness and authenticity.
Now that I’m a bit older – and wiser, I’ve found that gay men who identify as bears offer amazing gifts that transcend their physical attractiveness.
If you find yourself in a dating (or hookup) rut and are looking to create positive change, here’s 7 things you can learn from dating a bear that might surprise you.
1. Appreciation for the natural
When you date a bear, you link yourself to a man who appreciates the natural. Here, I’m talking about prizing their mostly furry physiques.
While they may manscape here and there, it’s usually kept to a minimum. That’s because bears appreciate their fur and view it as an extension of their masculinity.
This leads us to our next point, confidence.
Whenever I’ve connected with a bear through dating or hooking up, I’ve noticed that most have a confidence about them that’s magnetic.
Part of this relates to being comfortable in their skin. They make no apologies for who they are and treasure having physiques that that are imperfect.
In a community that tends to emphasize perfection, bears offer a healthy, comforting oasis away from a challenging gay world. And with greater confidence comes attractiveness. Next point.
Because bears generally are confident men, they typically have a magnetism about themselves that is different than other groups with the LGBT spectrum.
While “hotness” certainly is important when considering another, so too is their general personality.
Because bears like being who they are, the they often channel a magnetic quality that can be very charismatic. In turn, this drives up their likeability.
Not bad, huh? But there’s more!
4. Uninhibited Nature
Perhaps one of the greatest lessons gay men can learn from bears is their sense of uninhibitedness. That’s not so say these men don’t practice safer sex or are down with anything. Each man is unique.
That said, as a tribe, bears are generally less inhibited than other groups. Many celebrate their sex positivity and put a premium on others who do the same.
If you are looking to come out of your shell, a bear may be a great way to expand your horizons.
When you connect with a bear, you link yourself to a special type of man that is generally down to earth. He’s not concerned with trying to impress you with colognes or clothing. Instead, it’s all about being real.
While certainly not a monolithic group, it’s fair to say that most bears have genuineness about them that pulls others near. In short, they have a “chip” that radiates a warmth that’s nurturing.
If you want to be with someone who doesn’t put on airs, a bear is a great choice!
6. Romance Factor
I’ve never met a bear that isn’t a sucker for romance. While they may sport a scruffy face and have hairy bods, don’t let their outdoorsy appearance fool you!
In my experience, these men love romance in a way that’s versatile. In other words, bonding with others comes in many forms.
From a simple coffee date to a hike in the woods, bears offer their mates new pathways to romance that allow the person to get in touch with their truer, deeper selves.
If closeness to a man is what you crave with an emphasis on intimacy, you really need to connect with a bear at least once.
If you are into ruggedness, bears are by far the way to go. That’s because many pride their masculine persona. In fact, it’s a major defining trait.
If you like outdoor activities like camping, boating and fishing, you’ll find that bears are a great fit. That’s not to say other groups aren’t into those things. Some are. But bears seem to really love their ruggedness.
When you open yourself up to connecting with men who are outside of your norm, you allow yourself new opportunities. Over the course of time, valuable lessons can be obtained that are important to your development as a gay man.
If you are in the market for something different, I encourage you to try dating a bear at least once.
You might be surprised by the experience!