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15 Most ‘Accurate’ Gay Sex Facts Ever

Gay sex is way more than what you think you know. There are so many aspects you are completely unaware of.  I am here to help you unlock these secrets (trust me, I know). So here we bring you the 15 Most ‘Accurate’ Gay Sex Facts Ever.

1) It all starts with a shirtless man

gay sex fact - shirtless man

Okay, everyone knows how we just crave half/full nude men. So unless at least a shirtless guy asks you out, you don’t agree.

2) The date starts with a shit load of vibrantly colored drinks.

2) The date starts with a shit load of vibrantly colored drinks.
ALL GAY MEN MUST HAVE VIBRANTLY COLORED DRINKS. Universal gay manual, page 32, rule 7.

3) Followed by a musical, like duh!

gay sex facts - musical

Musicals were practically made for gay men, look at a random poster I fetched out. Plus, high drama, high pitched voices, I mean what defines a gay man better?

4) The musicals help in building the sexual tension

gay sex facts - sexual tension

With all the scales that one hears, it’s only natural that one would want to flirt after that. A musical is the best way to channel the inner energy into sexual energy!

5) Then follows the test of flamboyancy. You have to prove your gay worthy-ness

gay sex facts - gay worthness

  1. Must always have glitter.
  2. Must have hand gestures.
  3. Must like fashion. Just a few things that are tested.

6) Playing the correct music to set the mood. Usually, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Cher are the prime choices

gay sex facts - music to set the mood

Now, gay men usually get hard listening to Lady Gaga, Cher, Britney, Beyonce, and some other pop icons, so hence, there are the obvious choices to set the mood.

7) Taking off the clothes. Its a big step, and cant be done just in flow like straight couples

gay sex facts - taking off clothes

Now, the thing you must know about gay sex is that clothes don’t come off in the heat of the moment, they are too expensive to be just ripped right apart. Both men stand on the either corners of the bed, take off their clothes, and neatly stack them in a pile.

8) Then the preamble of the ‘Big Holy Gay Book Of Satanic Worshiping’ is narrated by both the participants, in unison

gay sex facts - holy gay book

Before one engages in a sexual act, it’s important that the gods of gay sex and the Satan himself are summoned and prayed to. The preamble basically assures them of a gay man performing his duties to ‘infect’ people with homosexuality and to continue to commit sins. I don’t want to bore you with the entire text.

9) After the preamble narration, its time for sex

gay sex facts - time for se

The sex is pretty much what you’d imagine, with positions such as ‘who is the man’, ‘its unnatural’, ‘see you in hell’, ‘satan worshiper’, etc.

10) Equal parts of glitter and unicorn poop is mixed to make a special lube

gay sex facts - lube

Only this lube must be used, else a gay man might turn straight. Ingestion of this lube is safe for a gay man only.

11) The orgasmic sounds are usually ‘Guuurrl!’, ‘Yaaaaaaas’, or ‘Slay Mama!’

gay sex facts - orgasmic sounds

Though ‘Guuurrl!’ or ‘Yaaaaaaas’ might be used for regular basis, ‘Slay Mama!’ is usually reserved for special occasions and extraordinary pleasures.

12) Ejaculation resembles a confetti cannon for both the members

gay sex facts - ejaculation

Just that the source of all the confetti is a gay man’s dick. And yeah, it sprays around the room just like the original cannon.

13) Once both the men have climaxed, a rainbow appears on top of the bed, and a unicorn flies across the room

gay sex facts - climax

The intensity of the rainbow would differ on the intensity of the orgasm. Also, in some cases, the rainbow would have glittering.

14) Once the entire business is finished, the dressing up begins, leading to questioning the fashion choices of the other guy

gay sex facts - dressing up

Now, when they are done, those neatly piled stack of cloths need to be put back on. Usually, criticizing one’s fashion choices becomes very evident at this point.

15) Then with the help of a neuralyzer, the events are forgotten, and both men walk their separate paths

gay sex facts - neuralyzer

Sometimes the two may repeat the entire cycle again, because of no memory of it happening, so..

 

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