Why didn’t I get “the gift”?
By: Eddie on the East Coast
I’m first generation Irish. My dad was born in County Sligo and my mom from Mayo. Together, they produced 5 boys. I happen to be the youngest.
And you know what else?
I’m the only one with a short, fat peen. Don’t get me wrong. I like what I’ve got girth-wise. But it’s nothing like my siblings. They have the kind of appendages that would make any Irishman proud.
Sure, I could sit here and tell you I’ve never seen my older brother’s d***. But why lie? The truth is, I’ve spotted them plenty. While you might not admit it to anyone, I bet you’ve a seen close family member’s privates, too.
Anyway, what pisses me off is that it wasn’t supposed to be this way. Well, at least not according to family lore. For real. Everyone around County Sligo instantly thinks “large” when they hear our family name.
It seems like just yesterday my mom was bathing me as a toddler and say, “Eddie, you wait and see. All McDunn* men are born with the gift. You’ll be just like your brothers.”
Now would be a good time to tell you that I’m in my mid-twenties. My brothers are all 10-12 years older. While I was still a pre-teen and they “all grown up”, I would regularly see them with nothing on.
Jimmy has the largest one (very long and thick). John and Michael are twins so they are identical with “the gift”. Finally, there’s Patrick. He’s not as big as the twins but fairly close.
And then there’s me.
Oh, I inherited the thickness. That’s not a problem. But the length? Forget about it. Mine’s not even “beer can” sized. More like a bottle. So much for “the gift” that supposedly came from Maurice FitzGerald himself; a famous Irish soldier who founded County Sligo.
Like I said, I’m not going to lie to you about this. The five of us have compared before. And we did it without all of the BS Catholic guilt so many Irish are plagued with.
What sucks for them is that the legend is true! And for me? I really missed out!
Imagine thinking your entire life that you would have a legendary piece, only to realize you’ve come up short. Literally.
Anyway, here’s a picture of what I’ve got. Notice the girth works but the length just isn’t there. It’s crooked too. Let me assure you this is way different than my brothers. Not they are perfect. But at least they don’t look like they have a broken c***!
And I’m even going to go into what it’s like to be gay with a short, fat peen. Suffice it to say I’m too big to get BJs and not big enough to deeply top a man (I’m told sitting on it makes it better).
Oh, that’s the other problem. I’m wired to be a top. It’s not that I can’t bottom. I probably could. But it’s just not my thing. Does that make sense?
Anyway, now you know what it is like to have girth without length. It kind of sucks. By the way, my brothers can’t stop making fun of me. Seriously, they do. A-holes.
Anyway, good luck and all that.
* name changed per author’s request