Coming out of the closet can be a scary thing. You may be hiding who you are because of family and friends or the lack of tolerance in your hometown, but you absolutely have to come out sooner or later. Some make the announcement sooner than others for various reasons, but it has to happen eventually. The sooner you come out, the better off you will be because you can’t be truly free and happy until you come to terms with who you are and who you are attracted to. Coming out as early as possible increases your chances of finding sexual partners to sow your wild oats and also increases your chances of settling down with a partner who makes you feel whole and brings you lasting happiness. First things first. What happens after you come out? Admitting to your family and friends is hard enough, but now that you are out and proud; you are faced with a whole new set of challenges. It doesn’t have to be difficult if you know what to expect and prepare for what happens next.
Honing Your Gaydar
The first thing you need to do is learn to recognize a potential partner when you see him. Developing your gaydar doesn’t necessarily mean finding other opening gay men. Some men do not make it obvious and they don’t even act on their gay tendencies until they meet the right guy. Your goal is to be that right guy. Eye contact is the key. If you look at a guy and he is attracted to you, he will let you know it whether it’s voluntary or not. He won’t be able to help looking back at you. If this happens, you need to follow up. This doesn’t mean jumping his bones either. Just start talking to him. Pay attention to how he reacts to you and he will let you know if it’s okay to move forward.
Where to Find Your First Partners
The obvious places to find gay partners are gay clubs, gay themed events, parks known for homosexual activity, etc. Although, they can be a good place to start, they can also be a little too fast for you to begin with. There are a few first-timers here and there, but these places usually have a lot of men who are experienced and are much more advanced at hooking up. There are also a lot of men who engage in immediate or anonymous sex that can consist of graphic and intense situations that you might not be prepared for. If this sounds a little much for you; start with any place that matches your interests like concerts, museums, bookstores, etc. Concentrate on the eye contact and ease into it with friendly conversation before you rush into a sexual situation. Always remember not to rush into anything unless you feel you’re ready. Let things happen naturally and you will become a free and happy gay man living a lifestyle that feels right to you before you know it.