A self-identified “straight” man says he can’t stop thinking about having sex with other men while he’s with his girlfriend. In fact, the mere thought of being with a man gets him excited.
Worried he might lose his girlfriend as he explores his bisexuality, he has written to the Dear Coleen advice column in The Mirror U.K. for some guidance:
I think I may be bisexual. I’ve been in a great relationship with a girl for two years but I can’t get the thought of sex with men out of my mind.I don’t find men attractive as such, although the thought of being with another guy gets me excited and I sometimes fantasize about it while I’m with my girlfriend.It is starting to get awkward, as sometimes it’s the only way I can get an erection. I sometimes worry that I will end up finding a random guy to experiment with and lose my girlfriend in the process. What’s your advice?
Here’s Coleen response:
Well, you will lose her in the process. I think the fantasy is in danger of getting out of control, so maybe it is something you need to experiment with to work out what you want. But if that’s what you’re contemplating, you shouldn’t be with your girlfriend right now. Don’t make the mistake of getting married and having kids, thinking you’ll “get over it”.That won’t happen – I’ve the letters to prove it. I know people who’ve spent a lifetime unhappily married because they’re suppressing the fact they’re gay, which is sad for them and their partners. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling the way you do but don’t lead your girlfriend up the garden path while you’re figuring it out. If you want to experiment, make a clean break.
Do you agree with Coleen’s advice? What advice would you give him?