Being raised in a conservative Christian household in Texas, Matt Bomer knew telling his parents that he was gay would not be easy.
‘Telling your family is a huge, huge deal,’ the actor tells Out Magazine in an interview published Monday (1 May).
‘I really view my life as divided between the time before I told my parents, and the time after. And the decisions I made, and the life I lived, before and after, are vastly different. It’s night and day.’
Bomer was a young unknown actor performing at the Utah Shakespeare Festival in Romeo and Juliet and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat when he decided to send his parents a coming out letter.
He chose the letter because ‘I would have lost my sense of direction if I tried to do it in person.’
Their reaction was not what he had hoped.
‘There was radio silence for a long, long time, at least six months,’ he recalls.
‘And then I came home and we had the blowup that I’d always feared. But we got that out of the way, and we got down to the business of figuring out how to love each other.’
But it took some time.
‘I would say within a matter of years we started to figure it out,’ he says.
‘It was a struggle. It’s a struggle for anybody to take their paradigms and set of beliefs and understandings and completely flip the script. So I’m empathetic toward everyone.’
It’s been many years and Bomer is married to well-known Hollywood publicist Simon Halls and they have three children.
‘My family is so loving. My mom just asked me, Simon, and the boys to go down and speak to her women’s group in Houston so, you know, I’m here to tell people it can get better. Because I had so many people in my life saying, “You need to get rid of all expectations — you need to cut them out.” But I was like, “They’re my family.”’