45% of the men who have cheated on their partner say they never found out
Over half of gay men have cheated on their partner, according to a new survey.
The survey was conducted by the Health Equality and Rights Organization (HERO).
It also found 17% got HIV or an STI from someone who was not their partner.
And then, 61% of those men did not inform their partner and continued to have sex with them.
52% of gay men admitted to having cheated on their partner
FS magazine surveyed 961 gay and bi men about cheating:
- 58% of respondents said a partner has been unfaithful
- 52% said they had been unfaithful
- 45% of these men said their partner never found out
- 40% of people in an open relationship said either they or their partner has broken their rules
Ian Howley, chief executive of HERO, said communication is a fundamental issue in the relationships of gay men.
He said: ‘What’s clear to us from the results of the survey and what gay men told us about their experiences is that some gay men are making the same mistakes regarding communication, trust and boundaries.
‘There’s huge issue of gay men not being able to talk to one another about what they want sexually.
‘We grow up in a very heterosexual society where “cheating” is enough to end relationships and long standing marriages because that’s what society has told us to do. And it’s not shocking to find that these standards are also put on gay men.’
Have you cheated on your partner?
He added: ‘I’ve met lots of gay couples who are perfect for each, emotionally, but sexually they didn’t work, or it just fizzled out but rather than work together on this, one or both of them cheats on their partner leading to the eventual breakdown of their relationship.
‘Now “cheating” may start with flirting with a stranger or sliding into someone’s DMs on Twitter, but it only takes a few conversation exchanges before thoughts are put into action and then you have an issue that might bring the end to your relationship.
‘Of course sex is important for any relationship to work but you cannot and never will be able to meet the needs of someone 100% of the time. And we are foolish to put that pressure on ourselves.
‘If you are lucky to find someone that does it for you, is there for you emotionally, physically and treats you with the respect you deserve, then you must work on the relationship. Letting a relationship die because of sex is silly. More often he will work with you and you can work together to explore options that will keep your relationship tight.’