I’ve got a thick penis that is abnormally large. It causes more problems than you might think.
The topic of gay dating seems to come up a lot on this website so I thought I’d talk about something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention.
I’ll warn you now this isn’t going to be another rant about being “super good looking” or a post about muscle bears who were fat shamed.
No, I want to talk about the very real problem of trying to date other gay men when you have a huge penis.
Here’s my story.
I’m a 23-year old recent college grad living in Miami, Florida. I have a decent job, make good money and do OK in the looks department.
But that’s not all …
I’ve got a really huge penis By huge I don’t mean that I’m 8 inches or even 10 inches. The truth is I’m 12 long with the girth of a Sprite can (maybe bigger).
Because of genetics, I was born with an abnormally large piece. My mom is Puerto Rican and my dad is Polish. From what I am told, all of the men on my dad’s side are big. It’s just the way I was born.
Some of you are probably laughing as you read this because you think I’m lying. Well, below I have some pics that you can check out for yourself that gives you an idea of my size.
While most men might consider that kind of wattage a blessing, I’ve come to think of it as a curse. That may sound stupid but it’s true. For those of you who are “average” size, you don’t know how good you’ve got it!
Look, I realize that you might be thinking “I’d trade places with him in a heartbeat” but I’m here to tell you the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
I say this because when you are good looking and packing really large, the perceived advantages can quickly turn into real negatives.
Here are my five experiences as a gay man with a huge penis that might surprise you.
1. People assume you are a top
This is probably the main drawback to being super big. Once you get past establishing a mutual attraction, someone usually asks for a date. At least that’s how it goes for me on the apps.
But when it comes time for something physical, that’s it all heads south.
Because every single gay man I’ve encountered assumes just because I’ve got a huge d*ick, it “must” mean I’m a top.
Well I got news for guys, I’m not!
In fact, I don’t like topping other guys at all. I go limp every time I’ve tried. Even the thought of it now turns me off. But that doesn’t stop some of my dates from making assumptions.
Do you know how many times I’ve been told: “What a waste!” or asked, “Can you just try topping me once?” It gets old real fast.
2. Getting head is difficult
Sure, giggle at this one if you want but it’s true. However, while you’re snickering, ask yourself if it’s easier to put your mouth around a carrot or a cucumber?
Most guys I have hooked up with think then can handle it. I always warn them in advance. “No problem man,” they usually say.
But when the moment of truth arrives, they ultimately can’t.
Do you know that I’ve literally had to apply Neosporin to my wood because some of the hookups I’ve had over scratch it with their teeth? Ever had that happen? It f-ing hurts a lot!
So what happens? I end up servicing him and get a glorified hand job in return. Not very satisfying.
3. Dates “brag” to friends
Just a few weeks ago, I went to a house party on a date with someone I’ve been casually seeing. As soon as I walked in, all eyes were on me. It was like I was the main attraction at the carnival or something.
“Was I dressed in the wrong clothes? Do I have a zit?” I wondered to myself. Everyone was staring – and snickering.
Once I began to mingle, it became abundantly clear that my date had bragged to his friends about my “hugeness”. When I asked why he talked about this with his buds, he replied, “I only told two people.”
“Gee, only two huh?” I thought to myself. He didn’t tell them anything else about me; like the type of work I do or my background in chemistry. Nope, just that I have a big one.
That’s why I never text my private pics anymore. I’ve learned a lot of guys treat them like trading cards when you’re hung.
Which leads me to my next point.
4. Comparisons that kill it
I always try to keep my “secret” under wraps until it’s absolutely necessary to do otherwise. It’s not that I’m ashamed of it or anything.
Instead, I just don’t want “it” to be the main topic of conversation.
Does that make sense?
But once the moment arrives for us to do the nasty (usually after a date or two), I’ll be damned if I don’t hear something like, “Oh wow, are you sure you want to date me? I’m not big like you at all.”
It just ruins it! I could care less if a guy has a fat schlong, honest. However, once they start playing the game of comparisons, it just kills it in the cradle.
I don’t know how to explain it except to say it’s like the biggest turnoff – ever! Can you say lack of self-confidence?
5. You should do p*orn!
I won’t go too far into this one except to say that a lot of guys have made these kinds of remarks: “Hey, you’re in the wrong line of work. You should do p*orn!” they usually say (or some variation).
I know it’s meant as a compliment but it’s actually kind of insulting.
You see when a guy tells you this, it means all they see you through is the prism of d*ick. They don’t see any of your abilities or natural gifts.
Why would I want to get into a relationship with someone who treats me like that?
In the End
So there you have it guys. A real problem that may seem insignificant and petty but is very real to me. And I bet there’s a few out there that can relate.
In fact, I know that’s true because of this GQ interview.
So if you happen to be average, now you know a little something about what it can be like when you’re super hung. It’s not the fantasy that you might think. And it’s probably the worst reason to get into a relationship.
Thanks for taking the time to read.