Enjoying Your First Sex Club Adventure
I’m still, very much, a sex club/bathhouse amateur. That said, I am quickly finding that I like going to them.
And since I’m still kind of green (and I have this platform), I thought I’d share some of the tips I’ve learned in this amateur to amateur guide.
So, if you are thinking about visiting your first sex club/bathhouse and want some tips before you go, this list is here to help you out.
Know What You’re Getting Yourself Into
This is priority and key. Understand that the second you walk into a gay sex club or bathhouse, you are entering a place full of sexual energy.
This is one of those things that you think you’re conscious and aware of, but you don’t really know what it feels like until you are in the space.
Imagine your local dance club times 10. There are men fucking in that corner over there, and yes, some mysterious figure is fingering you right now. Welcome.
On top of that, know that every club is different. Some are better cleaned, some have more amenities, some are bigger in size, and so on. As such, go visit different clubs and see them on multiple nights to know which one you like the best.
I’m the type of person who has to plan stuff ahead of time and then only follows half that plan.
For instance, how long are you gonna stay at the club? Is this the night’s only event or are you going clubbing beforehand/afterwards? Maybe (if the club allows), you’ll hop out to go to a bar and then come back later.
Have a light plan of what you think the night will entail, and then let the night take you where it may while having that plan be your safety net.
Check For Theme Nights
In terms of planning ahead, make sure to see if the place you’re going to has theme nights.
This could be rules on the type of clothing you can wear (like jockstrap nights or naked nights) or the themed play of the night.
The last time I went traveling I looked up which sex clubs were in the area. Turns out there was one just a few blocks from me, but the theme for the night was piss play. I’m not a fan, so I didn’t go.
If you’re on PrEP or into bareback, this advice isn’t for you. If you’re not either of those things, then I recommend you bring a condom (and lube!). Some clubs provide those free and some do not, so better safe than sorry.
Watch Your Wallet
On that note, watch your wallet.
This advice on a number of levels. First from the idea of being careful of pickpockets (though several hookup spots provide lockers/rooms.
Second, watch how much money you’re spending. Again, lots of places are different and the same go for their prices. Also, some places stack their prices like having entry fees PLUS lockers/rooms prices PLUS towel prices PLUS condoms/lube prices. That’s pricy.
Utilize the Free Stuff
That said, when things are offered free, USE THEM. This goes with condoms/lube, but also other things like coffee for the late partiers/morning risers.
Know Your Limits & Be Vocal About Them
As with any sexual experience, you have to know yourself, what you want out of the sex, and what you’re open to experiencing.
For instance, I’m quickly fine-tuning my policy towards sex in sex clubs. I have a fairly general admission policy on blow jobs (giving or receiving), but a VIP access policy on anal. Some may call me a prude or a tease, but that’s just what I want out of the experience and that’s ok.
And now that I know that, I’m finding it easier to say no when I feel a man feeling up my backside. Thank you for being interested men, but unless I’m into you I’m not letting you into me.
Keep in mind though that there are men that need you to be very vocal when you’re not interested. Some may even need you to say it five times or more. This is another thing you have to be prepared for.
Be Open To Enjoying Yourself
All that said, don’t let yourself curl up in fear or anxiety. You came here to have sex (or at least to have no-sexual fun).
If you’re feeling awkward, other people will see it and that will affect who’s interested in you or not.
Know your limits, but shake off everything else.
Don’t Be Shy. Flirt.
Going with that, flirt and feel it up.
Most people are there for sex. As such, it’s ok to come onto people there. So, if you’re interested in someone, you should walk up to them and come onto them.
Touch their shoulder, touch their ass, or ask if they want to have fun. What’s the worst they’re gonna do? Say no?
And if they do say no, accept it.
I’ve already dealt with too many guys who wouldn’t accept no as an answer and kept touching me or hitting on me. As such, I respect the men who take no as a no and move on. And, I do the same for other men.
If it’s your first time at a place, look around. After you’ve gotten used to the area, move on.
I highly believe you should never stay in the same room for too long. So, rotate and enjoy all that each club offers. (That said, if you find a place that you like, you can stay there a little longer than the other ones).
Lastly, there will be a lot of times when you might have random strangers that you can’t see trying to have sex with you.
This is a culmination of many of the earlier advice points. Know if you’re ok with having sex with guys in dark rooms. Be vocal if you want to put on a condom. At the very least, be open to a little heavy petting and grabbing from a few strangers.
Cause honestly, that shit is hot.
Lastly, have fun. At the end of the day, you came to the sex club/bathhouse to enjoy yourself, so do everything possible to at least leave feeling it was worth it.